"We have heard the statement, "marriage is a partnership." But what kind of a partnership? It is not an equal partnership, for man's role is to be guide, protector, and provider, whereas woman's is loving wife, mother, and homemaker. Man and woman are not partners in leadership, nor motherhood, nor homemaking. With thought we can see that although man's and woman's role are equal in importance, they are not equal in responsibility. In "Marriage for Moderns," by Henry A. Bowman, this unequal partnership is compared to a lock and key. Man and woman, he tells us, are like a lock and a key which join together to form a functioning unit. "Together they can accomplish something that neither acting alone can accomplish. Nor can it be accomplished by two locks or two keys. Each is distinct; yet neither is complete in and of itself. Their roles are neither identical nor interchangeable. Neither is superior to the other, since both are necessary. They are equally important. Each must be judged in terms of its own function. They are complementary." Marriage, then is a complementary partnership."
---Fascinating Womanhood pg 78---
Most of you didn't know me when I was a married stay-at-home mom... It's been several years. This concept of defined roles has always been very important to me, but not something I've been able to fully embrace as a single, working mom. Eric and I are striving to bring back the "era of defined roles" in our relationship. I don't think it's the economy that has changed the need for mothers to work outside the home, I believe it is people's own attitudes and the culture we live in. I have always felt it my main responsibility to be in my home with my children, no matter what their ages are. I am fine without brand new fancy cars, huge houses and expensive vacations. I am more than ok living within my means, whatever they may be, by thrifting and being creative. I should be taking care of my house and children. So many families say that in "today's society" it is a necessity for a family to have two incomes. I do not believe that to be true. I believe it may be necessary for a family to have two incomes to keep up a lifestyle that they want, not what they NEED, but what they want. What are you losing in the process though?
I think it takes a lot of humbleness and faith in the Lord's divine law and order to fully submit to your husband. It is a role that most men struggle with today, let alone their wives. Men like to say that they are the "leaders" in their homes, but it's rare that they actually step up to the plate and fulfill that calling to the best of their abilities. It is very hard for women to fall into their role when their husbands struggle with their own.
I fully believe that the decline of society, marriage and families has happened because of things like the feminist movement. Men and women were not created to be equals in everything... they were created to be equally important though. It's an interesting journey that Eric and I are taking to try and bring the mentality of defined roles into reality, but I believe it will be worth it. As I am working to humble myself and have more faith in Eric and his abilities and step back from the family leadership responsibilities I have been taking on for so long, I am also working to help him become the strong man that he needs to be to fulfill his role as a husband, father and leader in our home. I think this goes far beyond religious beliefs to an arrangement of divine origin. It's something that we will work on daily in our home.
